Skip to main content

Grace Dispels Fear

When I am driven by fear, everyone had better watch out!  Something happens in my body when fear comes upon me.  I have mistaken it for anger, but now identified it as fear.  I get hot...reason goes out the window...calm & restfulness are long gone.  
Today, the fear that started out my morning was...You're failing your children in their schooling.  We have missed quite a few days of school due to the Christmas season.  A week ago, it was totally fine and I knew we'd catch up. But, today, when I let  fear drive me, I was a mad woman.  NOT the Mama full of Grace that I long to be.

The only sound thing I could do was silently say to God, "I can't do this, You have to do this.  You gave me the desire to home school, I KNOW that, now YOU have to take over."  I said it again and again while trying to pay attention to Isaiah reading to me.  I kept feeling hot, asking for God to help me think clearly.  

I ran into Nate who was working on bills in the office, "How do I do this? How do I home school while all the kids are so young and needy!"  He didn't give me an answer, but said, "You're doing great!"  then me, "But, I lost my temper!"...  "Who cares!"

Somehow with that simple phrase of grace God broke through and I felt joy and peace again. 

The promise that God gave me for my kiddos long ago came back to me..

"I will teach all your children,

    and they will enjoy great peace.
14 
You will be secure under a government that is just and fair.
    Your enemies will stay far away.
You will live in peace,
    and terror will not come near.
15 
If any nation comes to fight you,
    it is not because I sent them.
    Whoever attacks you will go down in defeat." Isaiah 54:13-15

God, right now, I accept your grace for me.  I messed up again today, but I still feel your pleasure and for that I am so grateful!

The truth for the future: God will teach my children.  When that fear comes upon me, I know I have that promise for my kids.    

Still on the journey...Heather

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

20 Weeks

Today marks 20 weeks of pregnancy with baby #6. I am so beyond thankful for how good I’ve been feeling & the blessing of this pregnancy. I continue to feel good enough to run 4.5 miles & workout few days a week. I’m enjoying, for the most part, my pregnant body & the changes that come with it.  Thank you, Jesus...I really can’t say thank you enough.  I’ve been on the other side of pregnancy with much difficulty & I’m so thankful for every day that I feel good! In May I was sick in bed with Strep throat and in a prayer conversation with the Lord felt that I heard Him tell me why I was hesitant to have any more kids. “It’s because you don’t trust me.” When I came to term with the truth of that statement, I was ready for another baby. There were so many different levels of fear in this area that I had to surrender to Jesus. What about my horrible hormones, the lack of energy due to exhaustion & weight gain, Sciatica problems, what about finances, a new van? Th...
Post a Comment
Read more

Quote of the Week

On Sunday afternoon I had the kids doing some chores to get ready to leave for Arizona. Zeke, my eight year old, said to me, “Mom, could you write down a list for me so that I can cross things off?” Haha! I love it, a child after my own heart. Our, at least another one that I’ve passed my sickness down to!  Thank you, Jesus, for these glimpses that you’re helping me raise my kids to be competent adults. Momming with Sparkle,  Heather
Post a Comment
Read more

Your Life Verse

With each of our children we prayed over what we would name them. Nate gave me very specific guidelines for the names of our children- biblical, Hebrew, Old Testament. Yikes! It seemed like such a huge task, but, I believe that God led us to the perfect name for each child. I have asked that the Lord would give me life verses to pray for my kids that go along with each of their names. Isaiah- Jehovah has saved Isaiah 6:6-8- Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal he had taken from the altar with a pair of tongs. He touched my lips with it and said, “See, this coal has touched your lips. Now your guilt is removed, and your sins are forgiven.”  Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” Isaiah at PMBC this summer throwing a ratchet Moriah-  God is my teacher, the place where God is worshiped.  “This is what the Lord says: Because you have...
Post a Comment
Read more