Skip to main content

Grace Dispels Fear

When I am driven by fear, everyone had better watch out!  Something happens in my body when fear comes upon me.  I have mistaken it for anger, but now identified it as fear.  I get hot...reason goes out the window...calm & restfulness are long gone.  
Today, the fear that started out my morning was...You're failing your children in their schooling.  We have missed quite a few days of school due to the Christmas season.  A week ago, it was totally fine and I knew we'd catch up. But, today, when I let  fear drive me, I was a mad woman.  NOT the Mama full of Grace that I long to be.

The only sound thing I could do was silently say to God, "I can't do this, You have to do this.  You gave me the desire to home school, I KNOW that, now YOU have to take over."  I said it again and again while trying to pay attention to Isaiah reading to me.  I kept feeling hot, asking for God to help me think clearly.  

I ran into Nate who was working on bills in the office, "How do I do this? How do I home school while all the kids are so young and needy!"  He didn't give me an answer, but said, "You're doing great!"  then me, "But, I lost my temper!"...  "Who cares!"

Somehow with that simple phrase of grace God broke through and I felt joy and peace again. 

The promise that God gave me for my kiddos long ago came back to me..

"I will teach all your children,

    and they will enjoy great peace.
14 
You will be secure under a government that is just and fair.
    Your enemies will stay far away.
You will live in peace,
    and terror will not come near.
15 
If any nation comes to fight you,
    it is not because I sent them.
    Whoever attacks you will go down in defeat." Isaiah 54:13-15

God, right now, I accept your grace for me.  I messed up again today, but I still feel your pleasure and for that I am so grateful!

The truth for the future: God will teach my children.  When that fear comes upon me, I know I have that promise for my kids.    

Still on the journey...Heather

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Listen Up...

At the Discipleship Summit this year Jesus kept telling me in multiple ways to be a better listener... 1. He was a great listener! Isaiah 53-"He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, but he did not say anything." 2. Most of the time when I talk, I regret what I said 3. It's a way to be a servant 4. I can learn alot from other people 5. Listening is the best form of counseling...my response can be prayer! As the Lord began to challenge me with this, I began asking to help me with questions to ask people... In the hot tub that afternoon I met an amazing missionary woman who began asking me about my kiddos. Not only did she ask me about their ages, but she also asked what each of their personalities were like. I had to really think about that question. She was genuinely interested in me and it felt amazing! This is going to take alot of effort, but through the power of the Holy Spirit it can be done! I am trusting that this will change my relationships,  even with my...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Dwelling Place

This morning I woke up to a sick baby boy.  After sending Isaiah and Moriah to Sunday School, I sat down to hear from the Lord until the Radiate Service started.  Consumed by the thought that we may all be sick for Christmas, I looked up "no more sickness" in my online concordance.  What came up was a message of hope for me and I pray  it brings you hope as well ... Revelation 21:3-8-   And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them , and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them ,   and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be  any  death; there will no longer be  any  mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” Exodus 25:8  "Then have them make a sanctuary for me, and I will dwell among them . Exodus 29:45  Then I will dwell among the Israelites and be their God ....
Post a Comment
Read more

A Promise for Another Year

"I will certainly be with you." Exodus 3:12       It was 2 weeks before we were to start homeschooling again and dread overwhelmed me. Why? Because Isaiah didn't want to homeschool. It was painful to think of another year of trying to convince him that this is what we were called to right now, the best thing for our family.  I met with a friend and she told me about a new grant that enables low income families to go to private school. Perfect! Perhaps this was my answer...Isaiah could go to Heartland Christian School. I was sad that this may be God's answer because I would miss the time with him, but wanted the best for the kids. So, I began the application process. I had an unsettling feeling the entire time. When I stopped to hear from the Lord on the issue, I could hear Him saying, "Heather, I've told you to homeschool, given you the curriculum, answered your fears, and you're still not obeying." Ouch! "Okay, Lord, I'll listen, but ...
Post a Comment
Read more