Run With Sparkle

In the quiet, in the stillness I know that You are God In the secret of Your presence I know there I am restored When You call I won’t refuse Each new day again I’ll choose There is no one else for me None but Jesus Crucified to set me free Now I live to bring Him praise In the chaos, in confusion I know You’re Sovereign still In the moment of my weakness You give me grace to do Your will When You call I won’t delay This my song through all my days All my delight is in You Lord All of my hope, all of my strength All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore                                Hillsong United, None But Jesus With the news of baby #5 on her way, this song was appropriate for today! 

On Sunday my husband was telling about an ancient Hebrew tradition called Votive Offering . Votive offerings "refers to those things that are vowed or dedicated to God...as an expression of reverence or thanksgiving."- Thanks, Orthodoxy Wiki   This is my Votive offering or Thank offering: I have been searching for curriculum for a few months now, researching what will be best for my children.  I knew I wanted something that followed the principles of Charlotte Mason and Leadership Education .   I didn't care much for My Father's World curriculum a year ago when I was searching out a Kindergarten program, but my philosophy of education has changed so much in a year!  I had settled on their 1st grade curriculum for Isaiah with just a couple supplements for Moriah. I needed reassurance from the Lord that this was the right curriculum for us so that when we get into the thick of it all I can rest in that assurance.  So, I laid a fleece out for the Lord.....

He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Psalm 113:9 I remember a time I hated being a Mom. Gasp! Yes, I feel sick saying it aloud, but I hated it.  The "what ifs" of fear ruled my life every second of the day...there was no peace to be found.  I continually reached the "end of my rope" and wanted to run.  The temper tantrums, strong-wills, challenges of teaching outside of the home, trying to be superwoman at church.  Sure, I loved hearing, "How on earth do you do it all?", but always felt that I was about to snap in anger or just have an emotional break down. I remember vividly sitting at the park watching Moms interact with their children with such joy, peace, and true contentment.  That is what I wanted.  To be able to set other things aside and enjoy my children, my role in life. In 2010 I was on the verge of another breakdown and I was ready to give up.  The dream of having a big family was fading because I didn...

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those that ask him!  Matthew 7:11 I remember from the time I was very young God answering the prayers of my heart.  Without thinking much about it, I asked Him for everything.  When I needed new jeans, I prayed and He'd provide name brand, like new jeans at the thrift store.  When I needed anything that I knew my parents didn't have enough money for, I asked God.  God was my Daddy and I knew that deep within my soul. It wasn't that I thought of God as my Sugar Daddy in the sky, but I knew He loved me and wanted to take care of me, so I figured He was the best one to ask. Those memories of God providing for me have carried over into my Mama/ Adult life.  Or kids pray and ask God for things they want and need.  There are "wants" that we long to give them, but we can't afford at the moment, so we ask God.  W...

I awoke in a cold sweat, flooded by fears of what may come...  Swim lessons. Five babies in one family. A little girl in floaties at 6. Dirty floors. Piano lessons. And somehow I ended up with..."You're a terrible Mother!" It all seems silly now. Was I really afraid that I wouldn't be able to get the kids swim lessons?  Judging by my heart rate and the inability to sleep I would say, yes! I leaped out of bed and ran for the one thing I knew to do...grasped for my Bible. I just sat in the living room, completely exhausted from the battle that had been raging in my mind. I tried opening my Bible, but the words were blurry from the tears that had been spilled over unrealized fears. Lord, I don't know how to deal with all of these thoughts, terrors coming at me.  I know I am being irrational, but I don't know how to conquer right now.  I'm feeling cloudy.  Weak.  Insane. I sat desiring with every ounce of energy left to hear from Him. His sweet whisper...

I love Patricia Polacco's books...she is one of my top ten favorite children's authors!  When I read her books the kids ask me why I am crying...again! Today I read my favorite, The Junkyard Wonder , at our Ladies' Tea.  Here is the talk I gave: This book for me was a continuation of what God has been teaching me for a while…this is the story of who we are in Christ….a story of Grace! “Welcome to the junkyard, ladies!!”  “We are…didn’t you notice…all of us are…different…you know, odd.  Like stuff in a junkyard!” I assume that everyone in this room can relate to that “junkyard” feeling.  Perhaps we’ve overcome our own inferiority complex or we’re still working through the pain, but if we sit and ponder our lives for a while, each one of us can point to a time when someone told us we just didn’t have what it takes.  And, most of us believed them.  “You’re fat!” “You’re boring!” “I don’t want to be your friend!” “I don’t lov...

Metamorphosis  is a biological process by which an  animal  physically  develops ...  which is usually accompanied by a change of  habitat  or  behavior .  This is a Greek word which means transformation or change of shape.  (Thanks, Wikipedia ) I told my husband last night, "For the first time in my life I haven't had nightly 'Mom guilt' for quite a few nights in a row!  Maybe the Lord's changing me?"  He replied as a wonderful, supportive husband should, "That's awesome!  What's made the difference?"  Hmm.... Grace. On this short journey of fearlessness I have found grace.  Grace that allows me to play with my kids and let  other things go at the moment.  Grace to stop and stand in awe of the beauty around me.  Grace to allow my kids to 'mess up' and make mistakes and learn from them.  Grace to go outside and play in the rain when there are e-mails to be answered.  Grace to put ou...