Run With Sparkle

Metamorphosis  is a biological process by which an  animal  physically  develops ...  which is usually accompanied by a change of  habitat  or  behavior .  This is a Greek word which means transformation or change of shape.  (Thanks, Wikipedia ) I told my husband last night, "For the first time in my life I haven't had nightly 'Mom guilt' for quite a few nights in a row!  Maybe the Lord's changing me?"  He replied as a wonderful, supportive husband should, "That's awesome!  What's made the difference?"  Hmm.... Grace. On this short journey of fearlessness I have found grace.  Grace that allows me to play with my kids and let  other things go at the moment.  Grace to stop and stand in awe of the beauty around me.  Grace to allow my kids to 'mess up' and make mistakes and learn from them.  Grace to go outside and play in the rain when there are e-mails to be answered.  Grace to put ou...

She looked so weak, yet so beautiful.  It had been a long day. The doctors were supposed to put in a port for the Chemo and had punctured her lung instead.   Sweet, Marathon-runner, Mama of 4, tall & lean, inspiring teacher, funny, confident, Spirit-filled, friend...just some of the words I would use to describe J. Today she was facing just one of the most trying experiences of her life.  The other happened two weeks prior, two days after Christmas. My heart sank to see her in such pain... What was there to do, but just pray?  God had flooded her with His peace.  That was evident.  Her smile told it all. My heart was dragging...pleading...begging God for answers.  Why J?  Why does she have to go through this? The promise from the Psalms earlier in the day... Taken from Psalms 3-5 "But, You are a shield around me, O Lord; You bestow glory on me and lift up my head ." "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustai...

 " For the Lord your God is living among you.  He is a mighty Savior.  He will take delight in you with gladness.  With His love He will calm all of your fears.  He will rejoice over you with joyful songs ." Zephaniah 3:17 My latest obsession:  Homeschooling Theory books & Curriculum.  I have been reading everything I can find on Charlotte Mason, Unschooling, Leadership Education, Curriculum maps...my head is swimming.  Am I crazy? Yes.  But, in my defense, I am new to this homeschooling thing and I want to give it all I have got!  Crazy, fear-filled Mama is back. " He will calm all of your fears ..."  ahhh...I can rest.  I can move slowly.  No rushing.  No drowning my kids in spelling drills.  No racing out to buy the latest, best curriculum.  I can sit on the couch and read with them, enjoy books with them, enjoy math with them, enjoy THEM! Fearless: Putting outside pressures aside & allowing...

Unpainted walls.  Dishes piled high.  Rotten fruit.  Something smelly in the fridge.  Phone calls.  Christmas decorations packed, but not put away.  4 hungry children.  Speech Therapy.  Grocery shopping.  Bills.  A looming CPR class.  Ballet recital.  Gold and silver glitter sprinkled throughout the house.  Schoolwork.  Tired kids arguing over silliness. Monday morning. Where did the weekend go?  How did I not get things put back in order? Overwhelming...Numb to the joy that awaits this new day. I have pledged to do the Important, not the Urgent .  " What next, Lord? How do I live it?" He whispers faintly... pray...rest... Yes, that is the important.  The most important AND the most urgent right now.  Grace.  Grace for this moment, each moment today.  Jesus wants to touch every part of this day. My to-do list did not get done.  Grace happened.  Not perfection, but Gr...

Most of the time what I think should get noticed goes far unnoticed. Every Mama can empathize with the tinge of pain when..no one sees the victories, the graces, the triumphs, those "aha' moments that just can't be retold. No matter how big or small, it would be so nice to hear "well done". When those longings for recognition come, I am so thankful for the voice of His Spirit.  "Isn't this the thrust of the gospel?  To be least?  Isn't that what I came to model for you?"   Motherhood...an opportunity to be least. I dodge little feet from hitting the computer screen. Sweet bouncy giggles. Gentle hugs.  Squinty-eyed smiles. I am reminded of the sweet reward which only comes from being least. I remember the prayer...the prayer of a Mama's heart..."Lord, I want them to see YOU, not me.  Make me invisible.  No more Heather, no more self...just YOU, just your beauty!"  How grateful I am for how He reminds me.  Just a whisper.....

What if… What if this journey to fearlessness really changes me and my Type A personality?  Changes how I look at the world? My kids? My husband? My church?  My God? At every step and new venture we take together? What if… Schooling didn’t have to be a burdensome checklist hanging over my head, but a way of life…fun, even?  Is it possible for my Type A, legalistic, organization-crazed mind to let loose and allow some fun into our routine?  Our kids might actually enjoy learning and look forward to each new concept presented to them!  This is fearlessness. What if... I allowed my house to be messy, even when people “pop in” for a visit?  I allowed the house to remain “messy” all day and didn’t require everyone to pick up their toys until bedtime? I stayed in my pj’s all day and didn’t bother with make-up, but enjoyed the freedom of being a Homeschooling Mom? What if I sat down and held my babes just because I am able instead...

This week Nate was reading our fam the story of Gideon .  Such a wonderful story of victory, faith, and...fear?  Yep, Gideon had a lot of fear...but, it was what he chose to do with that fear that made him  one of the heroes of the faith . Here's the story paraphrased by me.... Israel had again done evil in the eyes of the Lord... surprise, surprise ...and for six years they had been oppressed by the Midianites.  The Midianites ravaged their lives. Finally, after being "reduced to starvation" they cried out to the Lord. On the scene comes Gideon, threshing wheat in a wine press, the most unexpected place...living in fear... trying to keep his family alive. The Angel of the LORD appears to Gideon and says, "The Lord is with you, Mighty Warrior". Gideon's first response was, "Huh?  Are you crazy?  The Lord is with me? Look at everything that has happened to us.  How can the Lord be here? I had heard about the miracles of the Lord, but they surely...