She is my pink and purple, all girl, princess loving, baby cuddling, boy kicking miracle. Everyday she seems to get sweeter and yet more stubborn at the same time. She is my miracle. I never believed that God would give me a girl. Somewhere along the way I convinced myself that I was too messed up to raise a Proverbs 31, woman of Faith girl...no, I figured that with all of my obsessive compulsive behavior, body-obsession, and self-consciousness that God wouldn't LET me have a little girl. Then, in a moment, during the Ultra Sound, the doctor said, "It's a girl...yep, definitely a girl!" Part of me still didn't want to believe it...doctors can be wrong about this sort of thing...but, I felt so happy. I wondered everyday what she was going to be like, look like, how on earth I was going to raise her to be the woman God wants her to be. Then, sweetly, gently, just like my precious Heavenly Father always does, said, "I am going to raise her...I am going to teach her!" Her name...Moriah..."God is my teacher." That was my promise, the miracle, that my Father & Creator was going to teach my little girl. That He loved her enough to give her the Holy Spirit to give her wisdom, faith, discernment, LOVE, power and all the other amazing fruit He gives. Moriah has been our strong-willed child, yet a constant joy. I love watching the way she walks...always with such determination, reprimands her baby dolls, squeezes Ezekiel's hand and speaks so tenderly to him, tries to do everything Isaiah does, says, 'Mommy hold me' at the most inopportune times, begs to wear her purple dress everyday, takes off her shoes and socks any moment she can get, says, 'Mommy, can you hold me for a second?' every night at bed time. Yes, Moriah is a miracle...a gift from God reminding me of His great love and grace for me. Reminding me that He is not only my Great Teacher, but a teacher for my kids, too. In that truth, I can rest and I choose to rest. Lord, tonight, I thank you for my precious little girl, my princess...Your princess...on loan to me. Thank you for giving me the joy of being her mama. Would you remind me everyday to enjoy her and love on her just like you love on me?
At the Discipleship Summit this year Jesus kept telling me in multiple ways to be a better listener... 1. He was a great listener! Isaiah 53-"He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, but he did not say anything." 2. Most of the time when I talk, I regret what I said 3. It's a way to be a servant 4. I can learn alot from other people 5. Listening is the best form of counseling...my response can be prayer! As the Lord began to challenge me with this, I began asking to help me with questions to ask people... In the hot tub that afternoon I met an amazing missionary woman who began asking me about my kiddos. Not only did she ask me about their ages, but she also asked what each of their personalities were like. I had to really think about that question. She was genuinely interested in me and it felt amazing! This is going to take alot of effort, but through the power of the Holy Spirit it can be done! I am trusting that this will change my relationships, even with my...
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